Just because you will no longer get wasted and make poor decisions – this does not make you boring. It’s not like you’ll get drunk from a candle that’s (inexplicably) scented like “wine country.” But that’s not the point. It could never work, but it still hurts to know they’re gone. Even if they were shitty or abusive, there’s still a part of you that’s hung up and wishes there was a way to make it work.
Thinking back to before I was sober, I usually had to drink to be around people. I recharge when I’m by myself, and I deplete when I’m with others—especially big groups. Thankfully, there have only been a few times https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/psychological-dependence-on-alcohol-physiological-addiction-symptoms/ when someone at the table hasn’t pointed it out on my behalf and adjusted accordingly. However, when it has happened, I have to speak up to point out that I didn’t drink and I’m not subsidizing their drinking.
How To Forgive Yourself for Drunken Mistakes
You can choose how much to tell them about where you’re going and why. But if you do choose to talk about your addiction, it’s from a place of taking responsibility for it. Being afraid to improve your own life because you don’t want people to think bad of you is a common, but silly, fear. You are living your life for yourself, not for other people.
It shouldn’t be surprising then that fear is why many people don’t get sober or take a long time to do so. It is common for people to have a fear of sobriety, especially if they have been struggling with addiction for a long time. Take some time to find a new definition of fun for yourself. It’s important to involve your family in your recovery process, so both you and your family can begin to heal together.
I was paralyzed by fear.
I was listening to this podcast the other day about this guy named Justin Wren. He frequently travels to Africa to build water wells. He runs a foundation called fightfortheforgotten.com.
However, the more you know about sobriety, the less scary it will seem. If you’re scared of becoming sober, that’s okay. Feeling scared is normal when you’re making such a significant life change. However, it’s important to remember that sobriety is not something to be afraid of. Sobriety is an opportunity to improve your life in many different ways.
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We are biologically wired for companionship, so this is a very real and instinctual fear to have. There are plenty of things people do that do not involve or center around alcohol. You might be a little bored at first, but with time, you’ll discover new and more fulfilling things to do with your time. Instead of being afraid that you won’t recognize yourself, look at it as an opportunity. You get to define yourself from here on out, and there won’t be any regrettable drunk shenanigans doing that on your behalf.
Developing a structured routine can help you stick to your sobriety goals, make healthy decisions, and reduce the likelihood of triggers and relapse. Create a structured daily routine, but plan for days you may experience sickness or chronic illness flare-ups that could require adjusting your routine. In social situations where people are drinking, you might feel more comfortable with a drink in your hand. And it can keep people from asking questions. A mocktail looks like a cocktail but doesn’t have any alcohol in it. Other people won’t be able to tell the difference just by looking at your glass.
If you are carrying around excess guilt because of harmful things you did while actively addicted, that guilt – that fear of what you did – can hold you back. Download our app or sign up for a free 5-week course. Worrying about it constantly will only strengthen your fears, and lessen your resolve to do anything. fear of being sober All you need is some patience, a little empathy for yourself, and a firm commitment to meeting your goal. Those who are overly pessimistic and say, “I’m going to be miserable forever” will inevitably fail. Feel sorry for yourself and continue to destroy yourself and those around you by drinking.
- Not only because my portion of the check is significantly smaller than anyone else at the table, but also because I refuse to invest in Big Alcohol.
- And the only people who will try to tell you otherwise are people who still require drugs or alcohol in order to have fun.
- These mechanisms will pave the way for overcoming hardship without relying on a substance.
- More than likely, though, this meaningful journey of self-discovery will be a long, ongoing, and wonderful process.
- Now that we’re sober, we owe it to our loved ones to sit down, acknowledge the hurt and pain we’ve caused and offer a proper apology.
People can use relaxation techniques to prevent fear from turning to panic. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous are other ways to build a support network. You can try different meetings for the different groups to find one that’s right for you. But if nothing else, don’t be afraid to ask for help, to show up. Even if you think it’s all a bunch of bullshit.
If you’re not clutching a jug with three X’s on it, you’re simply not eligible. It’s like a screwed-up deductible you have to meet, but instead of money it’s blackouts, and instead of co-pays it’s meetings in church basements. If you’re not the bath salts homeless dude eating someone’s face (or at least the other homeless dude getting his face eaten off), you’re not there yet. For people with a drinking problem, alcohol can be like a loving, supportive partner with a major dealbreaker.
- Don’t let worries or excuses keep you from getting help and living a life of recovery.
- If a booked social calendar is important to you, you’ll find ways to be proactive and realign what you do to fit your new lifestyle.
- Find a facility that emphasizes developing individualized plans that meet your particular needs rather than a one-size-fits-all treatment program.
- Besides, your current idea of fun usually involves holding your hair while you throw up discounted tacos and cheap margaritas.
It’s Neo taking the red pill and realizing, “Oh shit, I need to stop taking so many pills from strangers.” I have my family, I have my health, I have my dream girl, I have my dog who has been with me through all of this and still wags his tail when I walk in the door. I have learned, through time and through self analysis, that the world is gray.
Even if your willpower is substantial and you manage to make it a few months (which I’d done in the past), it’s not enough. To this day, I feel weird saying it and don’t quite know where I land with it. It’s not just the alcohol, and yet here you are trying to string together sober days via willpower and green smoothies. But you get it in your head that you know what an alcoholic is and isn’t. I mean everyone lets it get out of hand from time to time.
